Tinder is real life and you know it

According to Hootsuite and We Are Social, following the sixth year of their reporting, 16 million Australians are now on Facebook.  With 75% of these users checking their social media at least once a day (compared to the global average of 55%), its hard to understand why people still believe – and even stranger, maintain ­– that there is a difference between this element of their daily life, and what they confusingly, inaccurately label ‘Real Life’.

The power the internet possesses to connect every corner of the globe, and our almost (seemingly) unlimited access to information means that, used correctly, the digital and online realm may yet be the biggest and best enhancer of modern existence – and so it seems that the misuse of the term ‘in real life’, is more born out of convenient denial, rather than a person’s honest belief that what they do online, isn’t actually ‘really’ them.

Any ‘Instagram boyfriend’ (or girlfriend) dutifully following their partner around and snapping perfectly posed images for them to post online would have to confess that there is a whole contrived world that gets created and shared online (for various reasons).  Surely then, that can only be seen as an extension of that Instagrammer’s ‘true’ reality (Instagram being the example here only – whatever your favourite social media platform is, it doesn’t make a difference) – even if that ‘reality’ lies on a foundation that you need the feedback of a double tap/like –  and that without this absolutely contrived digital self, their ‘real’ self would potentially suffer.

Choosing what counts as ‘real life’ (and not), is probably something done out of fear of judgement (perpetuated by social media – more on this in articles to come), or some preconceived idea that unless it happens face-to-face, in 3d or ‘in real life’ (IRL), its insufficient, or unsubstantiated, or inconsequential, or simply: weird. – As though no stranger – no people who had never met – prior to the advent of social media, and our digital, avatar-existence – ever had a way of crossing the line of ‘I like the look of this person’ –  our first, inevitable, unavoidable assessment, before we might dare to fully approach another human.

Now having this means of crossing that line at our disposal, the line is potentially being abused, or moved, and  Tinder  – another social media platform that has infiltrated our lives – is a great example of the population’s unwillingness – a kind of discomfort (probably related to people’s poor impression of Tinder as a legitimate way to connect) – to admit that the digital, online, social media space is a part of our ‘real life’ itself,  rather than being something that we – or that many of us – try and distinguish as being separate from our ‘real’ self.

And if you disagree, the question begs:  If your social media persona and image isnt you, why are you pretending that it is?

What’s more, is that perpetuating this separation via the use of specific language (e.g. the distinction that Tinder, for example, is not real life), probably explains why so many people behave so disrespectfully (to others, and themselves) in the online world.  Keeping a line between your ‘real life’ and your online ‘you’ might make you more comfortable with doing things you wouldn’t ordinarily have the fortitude to do (like letting everyone -potentially 1000’s of people, mostly strangers, see your ass in a Brasillian bikini; or openly slandering someone you don’t know, haven’t met, and who’ll never hear, see or know you enough to retaliate).

Sounds kind of dumb, doesn’t it?  But still, its rife, because, it seems, people find it entertaining – not because its entertainment, but because its presented in a way that makes us believe that someone is ‘weird’ or a ‘creep’ for stepping outside the parameters of a world we call (when it suits us) ‘not real’.  If reaching out to someone like this, or wanting to engage with another human in this way makes us creeps, or weirdoes, maybe we all need our fucking heads checked?

Despite the fact that Instagram says there are over 9 million active users in Australia, versus Tinder’s 3 million or so, an inboxed message on Instagram (and lets just assume its an eloquent, inoffensive attempt to connect) is a ‘random person’.  But if they message via a match on Tinder (achieved with little more than two people liking the digital look of each other, whilst flicking at their screen during a shit) – then it’s a connection we’re comfortable with engaging?  – Why?  Because we’ve been taught to believe that this is ok, but other means of ‘breaking the ice’ are not.

For all of the internet’s ability to ‘connect’ us all, the onus is – and always has been – on us to get over ourselves, and realize that this world – where we relinquish a certain level of privacy by having social media accounts, and so can expect the subsequent invasions you might expect if you put yourself out there, however you may do so – is the world we’re now living in.  And its not going to go away….

There are some very interesting double standards around all of this too – where unreasonable parameters and critiques (that we’ve perhaps all been guilty of using at some point or another) are employed when it suits us, forgotten when they dont:  A polite message showing appreciation of someone’s style, or beauty, is often well-received, even welcomed.  But the same message, sent by someone ugly (lets just say they look like Penrith Panthers director and rugby league commentator Phil Gould) is offensive, and from a creep.

No-one is suggesting that potential victims or those suffering from it take a portion of the blame for unwanted or unwarranted attention or online advances, but its probably time we all took responsibility for our online personas, woke up and realized that we arent entitled to drop our standards, loosen our morals and behave like cunts we pretend we arent, just because we’re hiding on the other side of a screen, and accept the fact that what we do online, how we do it, is no longer separate from ‘real life’: it is real life – or certainly, a very real facet of life itself.

If how you present yourself and how you behave online is different from the other you, its probably you yourself that isn’t real.

Your horoscope

on this day in 2011, her majesty the queen (also known as the queen of Australia) visited my home town of Brisbane, to wave from a boat and receive bouquets of flowers from small children

Below is a hypothetical list of grievances voiced by some, during a recent experience i had (insert experience here).  To me, talking about these kinds of problems – any problems – longer than is necessary is not a part of any solution to solve them.  I may be termed impatient.  Perhaps it is so.  – Sure there are many paths to the one goal, but what’s the point in forgoing proactivity?  What’s the point in not challenging your surroundings?  And connecting to people again.  And the earth.

Because of the universal nature of some of the solutions to each ‘grievance’, they aren’t in their corresponding columns.  Maybe its the possibility that the problems we have are with each other, or ourselves.  Its interesting to see how applicable some of the solutions are to many aspects of life, whatever the problem.  This is the reason why the ‘grievances’ i heard (and read) inspired this research and this tabulation.  – Their ‘universality’.  And the echo of that word…

Although im not sure who the author of the work is, credit must go to Pete ‘Bulldog’ Barr for a couple of ‘quotes’, in green. 

An equally inspiring figure Jacque Fresco made a famous speech where he outlined the problems of the world (things such as hunger, crime, racism, hate, climate change, overpopulation etc) as being caused by people, as in ‘people problems’…

For further stimuli on this topic, and to see where this information was found lose your inhibitions (click)

read this column first                         > >

Problem/Complaint	Solution
The interest rate on my credit card is too high	Extinguish your own hates and fears.  Dissolve them.  Leave the hate at home.  It may be hindering your thoughts.  Your energy.  Even your trajectory in life.
I cant afford adequate housing	Buy organic produce.  Better still, grow it yourself, and only consume what you grow and grow with.  Reduce the amount of unnatural labor, resource and pollution normally involved in the production process.
The water from my tap is poisoning me	Be clear about your cause and your actions.  Plan your trajectory in advance, and be prepared for any mistakes or mishaps that may occur.  Anticipate them.  Operate within a purpose-built organizational structure.  Use positive motivators, instead of negativity or blame.  Be over-prepared and well-informed.
The food at the supermarket is tampered with	Limit your interaction with television and mainstream media.  Better still, seek information from as wide a range of media and orientation of media as possible.  As often as possible, question what you are told, what you see, hear and think.
My brain is being dumbed down by mainstream media	Limit your interaction with the big banks.  Take back what is yours.  Don’t use credit cards.  Forgo the things you would ordinarily purchase on credit until you can truly afford them.  If you must, investigate thoroughly the cheapest credit card options.  Look into supporting a local building society or credit union.
I hate the corporations	Boycott the corporations.  Boycott ‘big business’.  Buy independent or local.  It’s waiting for you.  Investigate the alternatives in order to stop investing your money in their corporate bottom line.  Produce and manufacture at home, as much of what you consume as possible.
I cant afford new clothes	Use your energy to promote your beliefs.  Be passionate about what you feel strongly about, and educate yourself as much as possible on the matters at hand, as well as the forces and entities opposing them.  Build support networks around your ideas.  Commit yourself.  Become a force to contend with.
I cant afford health care	Look within yourself and listen to your body’s rhythm.  Cure your ailments naturally.  Educate yourself on the alternatives – there are many.  Many of them are free or inexpensive.  Make peace with your energy.  Streamline your mind, body and spirit.  Nurture yourself with what it is you need.  Your health will flourish.
Everyone is full of hate for us and our cause	Swap old items in your wardrobe for new, or trade other goods.  Organise a swap.  Recycle or refashion old or pre-loved clothes.  Shop at 2nd hand and thrift stores.  Sew.  Cut.  Use pins.  Glue.  Brooches.  Be different.  Free.  Unique.  Be creative.  Express yourself.
People don’t understand where we are coming from	Don’t drink anything you don’t agree with.  Filter your water.  Find alternatives.  Read ingredients.  Do research.  Educate yourself towards them.  Don’t put anything in your body that you don’t feel compelled to.  Especially if you hear its poisonous.  It is always your choice.
My body is constantly being threatened by undisclosed active and inactive ingredients in the products I consume	Consider what it is you can sacrifice to better house yourself.  Seek advice from friends and family.  Take comfort and shelter from those you love, and those who love you.  Be compassionate, and it will be returned to you.  Let it live in your heart.  Plan families.  Be aware of all the responsibilities and implications of an expanding family unit.  Respect your home environment to the enth degree.
The media is lying about our actions and our cause	Be aware of what you are buying, consuming, eating and breathing.  If you are suspicious, or unsure, investigate.  If there is still uncertainty, don’t use it.  You are not trapped or obliged to do anything.
The government doesn’t represent my opinions	Engage in promoting causes that are relevant and specific to a local area.  Gain support by appealing to people’s interests or empathy.  Don’t attack or alienate.  Point out what people have to lose.  Educate them.  Make them see what you are fighting for, not who you are fighting against.
Big business has more power than my vote	Reduce the costs of your lifestyle.  Use less of everything.  Use less fuel, water, electricity, food, footwear.  Cut back gradually.  Conserve wherever possible.  Everything adds up in the long run.  Be aware and educated towards where your cash is flowing.  Analyse it.  Be prepared to compromise or sacrifice.  What is really making you happy?
I need more money	The haters also wish you would leave them alone:  Leave the hate at the gate.
I need to work less	Can you survive on less money?  I.e: With less expenses (see above)
I wish the haters would leave us alone	Share love.  Reconnect with the world and its people.  Lose your inhibitions more often.  Talk to strangers.  Listen to their stories.  Lose your judgment.  Smile at everyone.  Be open to people’s ideas.  Just listen.  Travel.  Focus on the positive, not the negative.  The love, humanity, our strength and complexity, not greed, selfishness or exploitation.
There is too much greed in this world	Create a new language that revolves around something else.  A new currency.  Something that cannot be bought or sold, qualified or even touched.  Flood the earth with it.  Flood your life and everybody’s.
Money talks	Dont listen to it.  Learn another language.  Diversify.  Be yourself.  Create a language of your own
Adopting a lifestyle outside of ‘the system’ is extremely hard	Don’t settle for anything less.  Change.  Challenge yourself.  Be uncomfortable.  Persist.  It will soon become the norm.  This is a radical moment.  It will not happen painlessly, or go unnoticed.  Persist.  It will soon become the norm.

a thought from the future

 

there’s a television presenter who makes like taking a photo is synonymous with pressing the ‘take photo’ button on your mobile phone…

and it just made me ponder for a second, just how our everyday life dictates our perceptions and adjusts our behaviours?  Surely there was a time when there wasnt any way to easily gesture the action of taking a photo – and certainly not with the ease that a simple press of a thumb on some imaginary button, held like a trigger in a hand would suggest is the art of taking a photo?

Has life been dissolved – diluted into a quest for ease and convenience, simplicity and unchallenging problems?  Where children too will grow to learn only of how easy things are, and never how hard or time-honoured they were.  Where patience isnt a virtue, but a rarity.  Where everything is dumbed down because everyone is doing it.  – And if they’re not, they can, or they soon will.  – You too can be like this!  You too can have this!  You too can feel this!  You too can look like this! After all, we really are just a mindless pack animal (or is that mono-minded?), so surely we want what everyone else has?  Dont we?

As the self-serving beasts that we are – always wanting (lustingly, desirously) what we lack, hardly satisfied with what we’ve got – our silly, unsubstantiated urges and energies will see that we strive to have it all.  – Everything.  In the palm of our hands.

As technology advances, are we really advancing humanity?  Or is it an illusion?  A false reality?  Something more attached to the avenue to exploit our weakness and folly – and fill the pockets of their creators – than the notion of self-improvement or a better world?

A Lite n Easy way to die*

It seems quite absurd that a company that is promoting weight-loss, is simultaneously promoting laziness too.  Apparently (and oh how often it is proven) losing weight is hard.  So hard, that going to the effort of preparing and cooking food, is what is restricting most overweight people from losing weight.

In other words:  The effort that is being required in order to change your life is missing, though you’re also not willing to put in any effort for that effort, anyway.  A mate of mine once used to say (he was quite sarcastic) “Maybe you should move around a little bit more?”

Sounds ridiculous right? – Well, that’s because it is.  Busy lifestyle, juggling the kids, 3 jobs, tiring days, long nights – all manner of excuses and justifications as to why someone wants to lose weight, but not put in any effort.  Hell, they don’t even want to move!

Testimonials.

Deshon: (chewing) “See, i dont know nuttin bout cooken and cleanen and that kinda thang ayneeways, jaul know whattem sayen?  So having those mo fo’s cooken for me, meanz i just getta eat and enjoy the eaten.  Hellll yeeeee-ah!”

Lewis:  (sunglasses) Lite N Easy has changed my life.  (cut to montage of different smiling faces)  “Moving from the couch to the kitchen, and then finding ideas, ingredients, utensils, hardware, crockery cutlery, means and methods to cook a meal, was taking so much time out of my day, i was forgetting my family.”

Ange:  (cut to shot of couple sitting on the couch, Ange is holding Lewis’s hand)  “He once cooked a ‘las-saying-ya’ for everybody, and the kids and i didnt see him for almost 2 weeks.  (looks at Lewis forlornly)

Kids:  (on couch now too) “We’re just glad to have our dad back.  Now he doesn’t move at all”.  (they all smile at each other, share a group hug. –  Make sure Lewis is still awake)

Isn’t life becoming far too convenient?  Isn’t everything we do becoming just a little too easy?  Would it be far-fetched to say that obesity rates have soared in most countries of the world probably more so, where  new-age, money-driven technology and its conveniences and protections, are more established and widely used?  Is anyone thinking of the word reliant?

Has the global media shifted away from educating the public or its people about health and well-being, safety and community, adventure and the world, and over to mass marketing, product creation and the manufacture of mental illnesses (amongst myriad other imaginary commodities) with all the latest potions – for example – for their cure?

Is this getting more ridiculous?

Soon, we wont even have to move to drive our cars.  Phones could be implanted in your cheek or your mouth somewhere; remote controls in your fingers.  The people selling you all the latest technologies, will also be putting on the ads, while you’re glued to the tv, buying their home delivered food, mental illnesses, talking robotic dog, 3d paintings, 4d television, walking phone and holographic waterfall.

Then we could all become as fat and lazy as we wanted.  We could have to move very little each day.  – We could even stop moving at all!

How is that living?

*any likeness to any of the characters in this story is purely coincidental.  Very much so.

The negative effects of Facebook

For all its ease and intent for providing a means of keeping people connected, and joining people together, Facebook couldn’t have imagined that its conception would spawn one of the biggest worldwide phenomenons that has ever been seen. There’s a lot to be said in support of this, but there are some sad truths involved too, which are largely seeing people losing touch with reality as we know it.

I am sitting on facebook right now, yet again sacrificing some of my time to whatever end it seems to be providing. I’m chatting with a friend, randomly scrolling up and down the page and seeing what people have to say for themselves. Although, i don’t take this stuff too seriously. Yet to some people its almost gospel, blurring the line between how we learn about other people, and how we are fooled by other people.

Everything that we see on Facebook, lingers in the blurred area (shrouded in internet ether) where reality tv could be said to lurk. Fact of the matter is though, reality tv simply isn’t “reality”.

Yes, its participants might be in “real-world” situations, but the knowledge that there are thousands – and more often – millions of people tuning in to see the results and reactions, simply doesn’t yield “real world” results.

I use inverted commas, because thats what reality tv shows claim to represent. While Facebook doesn’t purport to this, its millions of users are surely losing touch with the fact that what you see on Facebook can simply not always be what you get.

Vacuous status updates, photos full of innuendo and purposeful posing surely create an impression of a user that is only skewed by the disreality of it all. But people believe if, people conform to it, and people check and check back to see just how people’s lives are evolving.

What’s more, is the fact that people’s perceptions of how to use Facebook as an actual user posting “information” about themselves (the term “information” can only be loosely used) creates a self-aggrandising, self-important and nihilistic attitude towards life, the people around them, the people with access to what they say and see, and most disturbingly with reality itself.

Technology is clearly advancing humankind, curing sickness, taking us closer to space, improving our standards of living. – But it is also at the same time, deteriorating some aspects of all of this, and too much of reality is at risk of disappearing unless we can detach ourselves from technology more often, and get back to the more authentic aspects of our increasingly digital lives.